you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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