I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
