Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
