Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So much Jack, so little girl.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
