she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
