She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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