It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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