I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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