We're facebook friends in real life
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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