So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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