CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
