Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
