Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
