an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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