God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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