The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
