and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize