i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
