yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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