just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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