pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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