I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I will pee on everything he values.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
