You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
did you just send me my own nude
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
