it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
