Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize