he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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