Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
