no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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