I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
