I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
