Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
