ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
