This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize