so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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