your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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