Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
only you would photoshop your dick
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
