Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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