I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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