I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Damn victory sex feels great
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
