He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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