rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you didnt know i had herpes?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
