I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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