butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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