with your own penis?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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