so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
