I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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