I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
