idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize