a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
