And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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