Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
