do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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