This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
