So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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