Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
