I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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