I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
