Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
