that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
