it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
