It's like God shit irony all over that family
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
