I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
