I want to make a zoo with you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
