I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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