The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
