Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize