I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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