I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
