Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
