I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
