just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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