Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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