his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
only if we run a train.
done.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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