just come out here and I will go home with you...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
