I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
