I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
