shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Little spoons don't ask big questions
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
