hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize