im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
