No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
